Post Whoring Newbie Thread
Banned
MotoGP
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 5,942
From: Lake View Terrace, CA
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And the best for last..............
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
WITNESS: Oral.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And the best for last..............
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
Senior Member
SuperBike
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,461
From: South of Live Free or Die & North of Family Guy
Facts facts facts!!!
Vodka was not even Russian invention, in fact the Arabs sold them this idea!
Before the communism, Russians barely drank 1 litter of alcohol per year per person while the French did 6 litters per person per year on average.
Today Russians consume over 18 litters of alcohol per person per year, if you not including old people kids and so on... figure that out....
The amount of alcohol consume by the average Russian sky rocketed after the former USSR government decided that it was a good idea to push the vodka to sell allot more in order to strip more money from the citizens that already had very little and keep them effectively slaves to this drink, as a result, the Russians used 1/3 of there entire personal revenue to buy vodka and the government made over 100% investment in the vodka sells. Manufacture vodka cost was about one cent of a Ruble and was sold at a little over 1 Ruble while average salary was about 120 Ruble per month.
Vodka was not even Russian invention, in fact the Arabs sold them this idea!
Before the communism, Russians barely drank 1 litter of alcohol per year per person while the French did 6 litters per person per year on average.
Today Russians consume over 18 litters of alcohol per person per year, if you not including old people kids and so on... figure that out....
The amount of alcohol consume by the average Russian sky rocketed after the former USSR government decided that it was a good idea to push the vodka to sell allot more in order to strip more money from the citizens that already had very little and keep them effectively slaves to this drink, as a result, the Russians used 1/3 of there entire personal revenue to buy vodka and the government made over 100% investment in the vodka sells. Manufacture vodka cost was about one cent of a Ruble and was sold at a little over 1 Ruble while average salary was about 120 Ruble per month.
Senior Member
Back Marker
Back Marker
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 144
From: Sofia, Bulgaria
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside-down, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over
Senior Member
MotoGP
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 4,138
From: Austin, Tx
[QUOTE=NHSH;323250]Facts facts facts!!!QUOTE]
Not Surprising that thay they have asked for some help with this. When the leading cause of death of young males -age 23 to 35 is suicide any idiot can tell you your counrymen have problem.
Goverments prefer ruling disarmed peasants.
Not Surprising that thay they have asked for some help with this. When the leading cause of death of young males -age 23 to 35 is suicide any idiot can tell you your counrymen have problem.
Goverments prefer ruling disarmed peasants.
Last edited by nuhawk; Feb 2, 2012 at 07:20 PM.
Senior Member
MotoGP
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,871
From: Phoenix, AZ
“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”
― Dave Barry
― Dave Barry
Senior Member
MotoGP
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,871
From: Phoenix, AZ
Best of Craigslist ad:
I LOST PANCAKES :-(
Date: 2009-08-25, 3:06PM PDT
I was floating down the river on my tube, and Pancakes was right next to me. He is a small, 13 legged centipede who loves taco sauce, hardy partying, and never forgets to take his gummy vitamins. I looked back and he was gone, floating away. . . SCREAMING. No one knew what to do. He is a very good floater, probably because of all the gummi vitamins he takes. He never eats McDonalds when I do either. If you find him could you please e-mail me immediately!?? I miss him so much and I have no one to talk to, and no one to drink beerz with. He was my only friend. He was supposed to be 12 this upcoming Feb. 9th. He is an Aquarius.
Ps. He Has A SMILE as BRIGHT as the SUNNNNNNNNN :-)
<3
I LOST PANCAKES :-(
Date: 2009-08-25, 3:06PM PDT
I was floating down the river on my tube, and Pancakes was right next to me. He is a small, 13 legged centipede who loves taco sauce, hardy partying, and never forgets to take his gummy vitamins. I looked back and he was gone, floating away. . . SCREAMING. No one knew what to do. He is a very good floater, probably because of all the gummi vitamins he takes. He never eats McDonalds when I do either. If you find him could you please e-mail me immediately!?? I miss him so much and I have no one to talk to, and no one to drink beerz with. He was my only friend. He was supposed to be 12 this upcoming Feb. 9th. He is an Aquarius.
Ps. He Has A SMILE as BRIGHT as the SUNNNNNNNNN :-)
<3
Retired- but not tired!
SuperBike
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 1,481
From: Pittsburgh
Best of Craigslist ad:
I LOST PANCAKES :-(
Date: 2009-08-25, 3:06PM PDT
I was floating down the river on my tube, and Pancakes was right next to me. He is a small, 13 legged centipede who loves taco sauce, hardy partying, and never forgets to take his gummy vitamins. I looked back and he was gone, floating away. . . SCREAMING. No one knew what to do. He is a very good floater, probably because of all the gummi vitamins he takes. He never eats McDonalds when I do either. If you find him could you please e-mail me immediately!?? I miss him so much and I have no one to talk to, and no one to drink beerz with. He was my only friend. He was supposed to be 12 this upcoming Feb. 9th. He is an Aquarius.
Ps. He Has A SMILE as BRIGHT as the SUNNNNNNNNN :-)
<3
I LOST PANCAKES :-(
Date: 2009-08-25, 3:06PM PDT
I was floating down the river on my tube, and Pancakes was right next to me. He is a small, 13 legged centipede who loves taco sauce, hardy partying, and never forgets to take his gummy vitamins. I looked back and he was gone, floating away. . . SCREAMING. No one knew what to do. He is a very good floater, probably because of all the gummi vitamins he takes. He never eats McDonalds when I do either. If you find him could you please e-mail me immediately!?? I miss him so much and I have no one to talk to, and no one to drink beerz with. He was my only friend. He was supposed to be 12 this upcoming Feb. 9th. He is an Aquarius.
Ps. He Has A SMILE as BRIGHT as the SUNNNNNNNNN :-)
<3
