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APE Tensioner Installation...WTF!

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Old 04-24-2010, 05:44 AM
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APE Tensioner Installation...WTF!

Install APE tensioner in three easy steps.

1) obtain large quantity methamphetamine from overstock.com thanks Gary!
2) carefully place in a hollowed out banana at TDC. you can zip tie the banana shut but it doesn't matter.
3) place banana in monkey cage rotating 450 degrees anti counterclockwiseish, making sure the marks are the right way and the lobes are the other way and nothing slips off or jumps.

no need to remove battery ground cable. no more worries. loosen if too tight, tighten if too loose. do this install, you CANNOT afford the automatic tensioners, the monkeys just love that stuff!

I'm aware I'm an *** and I know this thread is useless without pictures!
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Old 04-24-2010, 07:12 AM
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...... ...... ...

Last edited by hondavtr1000sp2; 04-24-2010 at 07:15 AM.
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Old 04-24-2010, 07:25 AM
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i would bring that meth to a slow boil and remove the toxins first. Last time I got it there, I was surprised and dismayed to find mercury in it. Rot Roe!
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Old 04-24-2010, 08:09 AM
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Originally Posted by nath981
i would bring that meth to a slow boil and remove the toxins first. Last time I got it there, I was surprised and dismayed to find mercury in it. Rot Roe!
gee, thanks for adding ANOTHER step to what some of us consider an already overwhelmingly complex task (depending on the meds). Wasn't mercury supposed to go out of business like pontiac? oh, and i can't imagine Gary ever letting that happen! I won't type the word boil either, ****, got me!
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Old 04-24-2010, 08:19 AM
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So, do we love our apes?
Attached Thumbnails APE Tensioner Installation...WTF!-charltonhestonplanetoftheapes_new.jpg   APE Tensioner Installation...WTF!-monkey-gun-thumb-400x272-12159.jpg  
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Old 04-24-2010, 09:22 AM
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o;sdfhwmqvoitw8nropweombp,jg0vc[er.[-cwfk.............................................. .............................?
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Old 04-24-2010, 11:16 AM
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without saying too much, a dealer sometimes heats the meth so he can cut it with something, for instance procaine, in order that he can recoup his money plus a little profit for his efforts. During this procedure when I happened to be there, mercury congealed into little droplets similar to those we used to play with and clean silver coins with back in grade school(in the 50's, before mercury got its bad wrap). This brings back another "toxic" memory, that we used to go into downtown shoe stores after school and x-ray our feet. hahaha. Yeah. you could stand up on this raised machine, stick both feet, your hands, or anything else you can get into the hole. Then turn the switch and you can see your hand or feet bones, move them around and see how they work for as long as you like or until the manager told you to get off.

As far as the CCT installation, it helps if someone else can be there helping you. i did the cheap CCT fix that some say isn't really a fix, but so far, so good. But doing your CCT is just like anything else, "you eat the elephant one bite at a time". You may find it easier to remove obstructions like the oil cooler or even the front wheel and forks to gain unfettered access, but you have to approach these tasks with patience, perseverance and look at it like a learning experience, and not a negative task. For example, steve and I probably worked at least 16-20 hours on his bike just trying to get it right, whereas others would have had it done in a few hours; but now we can tear the carbs off and put them back on again in a heartbeat. Look at like practicing and getting familiar with your bike. If I were closer or coming soon, I'd gladly assist you. There's gotta be someone close to you, but whether they would be willing to spend the time is another story.
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Old 04-24-2010, 01:20 PM
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I remember playing with mercury and the shoe store X-ray machines! Good times.
+1 on the importance of "patience, perseverance and [looking] at it like a learning experience". I've had to remind myself of that more than a few times.
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Old 04-24-2010, 03:00 PM
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For the tyrants who want to take away our apes, monkeys and bananas...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0B_UZNtEk4

Actually, if you follow the instructions on installing CCTs, it's pretty foolproof simple.
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Old 04-24-2010, 04:19 PM
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"get your hands off of me you filthy human"
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Old 04-24-2010, 04:21 PM
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Originally Posted by RK1
Actually, if you follow the instructions on installing CCTs, it's pretty foolproof simple.
but if you don't follow the instructions....
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Old 04-24-2010, 05:29 PM
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Originally Posted by comedo
I remember playing with mercury and the shoe store X-ray machines! Good times.
In the '50s I remember kids bringing mercury to school for show and tell. And we'd all touch it. They'd have a kid arrested for doing that today.

My mom wouldn't let me play with the shoe store X-ray machine. I think she knew something.
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Old 04-24-2010, 06:12 PM
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Hahaha....... now we're giving away our age huh. Don't want anyone to know I'm 67. Shhhhhh. They're liable to start their ageism **** on us. hahaha
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Old 04-24-2010, 06:16 PM
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APE Tensioner Installation...WTF! that's Will Take Forever! if you keep procrastinating. Jump in there and "git er done". hahaha
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Old 04-25-2010, 06:00 AM
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Thanks for all the encouragement and amusement. I actually did mine a week or so ago and all went well. TPS and depair at same time. A few hours total. Had them too tight at first. Made a strange low growly squeal (no comments please). The real bitch was adjusting the front one with the coolant hoses in the way. I would say LAZNs walk through is basically exactly what I did, except I pulled the OEMs without releasing tension first, just made sure they broke free from the gasket and backed the mount bolts out slowly and evenly. They were in perfect shape ('02s). Ironically my post was a humorous break for all the guys that have been dreading the job. As all have said, take your time, read all the different posts several times, save most of the beer for after the test ride, and be sure to turn the motor by wrench several times before startup to be sure there's no "cash register from Hell" noises. Now go ahead and do it. The only problem I've had since the install is that Honey has quit a couple times while idling on the stand. Don't do that much so it may not be a new problem, but don't recall it happening before at all. If it grows into a concern I'll start a new thread...probably Monkeys killed my Bird.
Dad played in broken open bags of asbestos with his toy trucks and then payed 8 grand for abatement to sell a house 60 years later. Guy couldn't figure out his big grin as he spoke of the horrible dangers! My daughter bought a house a month ago and as we were leaving the walk through i spotted a small jar in the corner of the porch. Only item in the whole house, about a cup of mercury. When NATH visits we're gonna mix it with Jack Daniels. You get in trouble for tossing it in the reservoir! Good info on the meth, don't be insulted if I check it with the Amish up where my son lives!
You want me to procrastinate NOW? Maybe tomorrow.
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Old 04-25-2010, 06:57 AM
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My damn age is affecting my eyes. I know it! First it was difficulty seeing at night, black on black, etc. Now it's double vision. Sucks gettin old. hahaha................ Oh wait. Post 15 and 16. It's not double vision at all. It's freakin Alzheimers. Damn

Last edited by nath981; 04-25-2010 at 07:00 AM.
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Old 04-25-2010, 07:18 AM
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what are you talking about?

yeah one more thing about the meth. don't post on it. twitchy ******' mouse button finger. seems alive!

Last edited by peterpanic; 04-25-2010 at 07:21 AM. Reason: f with nath
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Old 04-25-2010, 09:20 AM
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Talking alzheimers

Originally Posted by nath981
My damn age is affecting my eyes. I know it! First it was difficulty seeing at night, black on black, etc. Now it's double vision. Sucks gettin old. hahaha................ Oh wait. Post 15 and 16. It's not double vision at all. It's freakin Alzheimers. Damn
know how that goes, youngster
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Old 04-25-2010, 12:24 PM
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it's getting better. Now I'm hallucinating! hahaha
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