Post Whoring Newbie Thread
Senior Member
MotoGP
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,871
From: Phoenix, AZ
You guys know how to catch a bear?
Here's what you have to do:
Dig a hole in the ground and build a fire in it. Let the fire burn down to just ashes. Then put peas around the edge and...
When the bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ash hole.
Here's what you have to do:
Dig a hole in the ground and build a fire in it. Let the fire burn down to just ashes. Then put peas around the edge and...
When the bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ash hole.
Banned
MotoGP
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 5,942
From: Lake View Terrace, CA
This young cowboy walks into a seedy cafe in a small town in West Texas. He sits at the counter and notices an older cowboy with his arms folded staring blankly at a bowl of chili.
After about 15 minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asks, "if you ain't goin to eat that, mind if I do"? The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner states "Nah, go ahead".
Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a rotten dead rat in the chili. The sight was shocking and he immediately pukes up the chili into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly says, "Yep, that's as far as I got, too".
After about 15 minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asks, "if you ain't goin to eat that, mind if I do"? The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner states "Nah, go ahead".
Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a rotten dead rat in the chili. The sight was shocking and he immediately pukes up the chili into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly says, "Yep, that's as far as I got, too".
Banned
MotoGP
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 5,942
From: Lake View Terrace, CA
A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge so they stopped.
The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to commit a suicide," she says.
While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity so he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a Kiss?"
So, she does and it was a long, deep lingering kiss.
After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best Kiss I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"
The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to commit a suicide," she says.
While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity so he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a Kiss?"
So, she does and it was a long, deep lingering kiss.
After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best Kiss I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"
Banned
MotoGP
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 5,942
From: Lake View Terrace, CA
Jeff Gordon announced today that he has fired his entire pit crew.
The decision to fire the pit crew was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Harlem were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Gordon's existing pit crew could only do it in 8 seconds with thousands of dollars worth of high tech equipment.
It was thought to be an excellent and bold move by Gordon's management team, as most races are won or lost in the pits.
However, Gordon got more than he bargained for.
At the crew's first practice session, not only was the inexperienced crew able to change all 4 wheels in under 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had changed the paint scheme, altered the VIN number, and sold the car to Dale Earnhardt Jr. for 10 cases of Bud, a bag of weed, and some photos of Jeff Gordon's wife in the shower.
The decision to fire the pit crew was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Harlem were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Gordon's existing pit crew could only do it in 8 seconds with thousands of dollars worth of high tech equipment.
It was thought to be an excellent and bold move by Gordon's management team, as most races are won or lost in the pits.
However, Gordon got more than he bargained for.
At the crew's first practice session, not only was the inexperienced crew able to change all 4 wheels in under 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had changed the paint scheme, altered the VIN number, and sold the car to Dale Earnhardt Jr. for 10 cases of Bud, a bag of weed, and some photos of Jeff Gordon's wife in the shower.
