Calling an illegal alien an 'undocumented immigrant' is like calling a drug dealer an 'unlicensed pharmacist'

 

I was walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a guy crouching down behind a tombstone.

I said, "Morning."

He said, "No, just taking a ****".

 

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike.

Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and asked him to forgive me.

 

My girlfriend was in labor with our first child.

She was shouting, "Get this out of me!

Give me the drugs."

She looked at me and said, "You did this to me you bastard!"

I casually replied, "If you would care to remember, I wanted to stick it up your *** but you said, "It'll be too painful."

 

I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual checkup.

She told me that I had to quit masturbating.

I asked why, she said,

"Because I am trying to examine you."

 

I was walking down the road today and saw my Afghani neighbor, Abdul, standing on his fifth floor apartment balcony shaking a carpet.

I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"

 

My girlfriend and I were making love last night when she looked up at me and said,

"Make love to me like in the movies".

So I turned her over on all fours, stuck it in her ***, pulled it out, flipped her back over and came all over her face and hair.

She cried.

I guess we don't watch the same movies.

 

Glad to see this thing is still around....

 

WTF Randy lives in Round Rock now.... no good can come from this.

 

I'm guessing that you must have met him...

 

Teardrop camper update:

Went to the hangar this morning and did not feel like working on airplanes, so i spent a few hours building the doors for the camper...

 

Cut out the doors for both sides...

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Trimmed them with aluminum angle and 2 coats of stain...

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Installed the windows...

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Test fit of the first door...

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Final door installation...

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Both doors installed, still need to finish the trim work on the inside of doors...

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Installed the locking door handles on both doors...

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The cooler weather has me wanting to finish it up and take her out for a test...

 

Are you building this to take down to the ranch as a "sleeping capsule"? As such, it will be pretty neat. Most of what we do is around a campfire anyway. Tents are ok but a hassle. Keeping the sand out of your sleeping bag is impossible. Just being elevated a bit keeps you above dirt level. Your assembly work is great!

 

Hahaha...No, it's not for the ranch. I have a 8k sq ft home with swimming pool to stay at on the ranch.

Just seen one once, and thought it was neat so i am building one for myself. I am going to take it camping by the end of the month. My wife loves to tent camp so this will be a step up. Nice and dry when it rains, cool in the summer and heated in the winter...what more could you ask for!

 

I like the idea that you have doors out both sides. That way when she needs to pee she doesn't have to crawl over you. So where are you going to take this sled?

 

 

That was my exact reason!

 

Not sure yet, but i'm ready to go.

 

Holy Dark Night at the Whorehouse Batman, I forgot your *** lived in this neck of the woods!
Still working at the bar? what's the name of it?

 

Hunting?????LOL

 

My plates expire Sunday...

 

I can either renew them in NC, but then the inspection will be out...