Post Whoring Newbie Thread
Moderate-whore
MotoGP
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 9,052
From: Leander TX!!
I heart Ted!! Ted for President!! Nah, he makes too much sense! Democrats would **** there pants if he got elected...then there would be a new social program...you don't work, you don't eat! I love it...
Post Whore Junior
MotoGP
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,825
From: Triad, NC
Why A Gun Is Better Than A Girlfriend
1. You can trade in your old 44 for a new 22.
2. You can have one gun at home and another when you're on the road.
3. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he'll probably let you try it out.
4. One gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.
5. Your gun stays with you even when you run out of ammo.
6. Guns don't take up much closet space.
7. Guns function normally every day of the month.
8. Your gun will never ask, "Do these new grips make me look fat?"
9. A gun doesn't mind when you go to sleep after using it.
10. AND, you can buy a silencer for a gun!
1. You can trade in your old 44 for a new 22.
2. You can have one gun at home and another when you're on the road.
3. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he'll probably let you try it out.
4. One gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.
5. Your gun stays with you even when you run out of ammo.
6. Guns don't take up much closet space.
7. Guns function normally every day of the month.
8. Your gun will never ask, "Do these new grips make me look fat?"
9. A gun doesn't mind when you go to sleep after using it.
10. AND, you can buy a silencer for a gun!
Sexual Daredevil
SuperSport
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 597
From: Mother Earth- orbiting around Charlotte, NC. But now over the border in S.C.
Broccoli Casserole
A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for Christmas dinner.
This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.
They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.
The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole.
The gas pains are almost making her eyes water.
Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart.
It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof.
Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed,
her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the woman's chair,
and said in a rather stern voice, 'Skippy!'.
The woman thought, 'This is great!' and a big smile came across her face.
A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again.
This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer rrrrrip.
The father again looked at the dog and yelled, 'Skippy!'
Once again the woman smiled and thought 'Yes!'
A few minutes later the woman had to let another rip.
This time she didn't even think about it.
She let a fart rip that rivaled a train whistle blowing.
Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled,
'Skippy, get away from her, before she ***** on you!'
A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for Christmas dinner.
This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.
They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.
The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole.
The gas pains are almost making her eyes water.
Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart.
It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof.
Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed,
her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the woman's chair,
and said in a rather stern voice, 'Skippy!'.
The woman thought, 'This is great!' and a big smile came across her face.
A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again.
This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer rrrrrip.
The father again looked at the dog and yelled, 'Skippy!'
Once again the woman smiled and thought 'Yes!'
A few minutes later the woman had to let another rip.
This time she didn't even think about it.
She let a fart rip that rivaled a train whistle blowing.
Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled,
'Skippy, get away from her, before she ***** on you!'
