A Christmas Story For All
12-22-2009, 08:32 AM
#1
Bytes
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A Christmas Story For All
A bullet point rant Christmas rant:
1. Last night I was doing some Christmas shopping for my wife at the local REI. I was checking out some heavy wool socks (just like she asked for) when this grandmother and her 12-13 year old *** hat grand kid walks up. The old battle axe grabs the socks from me and asks the kid "Is this what mommy wants?". The kids tells her he thinks so and the just walk off with the socks. WTF?
2. I grab a new pair off the rack to make sure they are the kind my wife asked for. They are so I go directly to the checkout aisle. (I shop like I am a navy seal on a mission... get what I went for and get out) When I get to the checkout stand the *** hat grandma and her grandson are in front of me. The checker starts to ring up her stuff when she says "Oh heck these are the wrong size. Jimmy do grandma a favor go get size 8s please". The kid gets back about 5 minutes later and tells her that they don't have the right size. I'm getting a little more pissed.
3. The checker finishes ringing her stuff up and now she pulls out a check book. Who do I make this out to? Is today the 21st? How much was that again? The check is finally made out and she then starts to write the amount down in the check register before she hands it to the clerk. At this point I could have blown her brains out and just stepped over the corpse on the way out.
4. I pay for my socks, go to my NEW Honda Accord and someone has just scraped half the paint off of my right rear door all the way back to the bumper. I double check the white lines to make sure I am centered in my lane. Yep, some dick wad just couldn't figure out how to back out. I am beside myself at this point.
I made it home, had a couple of scotch and waters and watched a movie with the wife. I reflected on how glad I was that I didn't shoot the grandmother because I'd still be filling out the justifiable homicide paper work. I am NOT over the car scratching episode but I think it too will pass. Christmas is the merriest time of the year!
1. Last night I was doing some Christmas shopping for my wife at the local REI. I was checking out some heavy wool socks (just like she asked for) when this grandmother and her 12-13 year old *** hat grand kid walks up. The old battle axe grabs the socks from me and asks the kid "Is this what mommy wants?". The kids tells her he thinks so and the just walk off with the socks. WTF?
2. I grab a new pair off the rack to make sure they are the kind my wife asked for. They are so I go directly to the checkout aisle. (I shop like I am a navy seal on a mission... get what I went for and get out) When I get to the checkout stand the *** hat grandma and her grandson are in front of me. The checker starts to ring up her stuff when she says "Oh heck these are the wrong size. Jimmy do grandma a favor go get size 8s please". The kid gets back about 5 minutes later and tells her that they don't have the right size. I'm getting a little more pissed.
3. The checker finishes ringing her stuff up and now she pulls out a check book. Who do I make this out to? Is today the 21st? How much was that again? The check is finally made out and she then starts to write the amount down in the check register before she hands it to the clerk. At this point I could have blown her brains out and just stepped over the corpse on the way out.
4. I pay for my socks, go to my NEW Honda Accord and someone has just scraped half the paint off of my right rear door all the way back to the bumper. I double check the white lines to make sure I am centered in my lane. Yep, some dick wad just couldn't figure out how to back out. I am beside myself at this point.
I made it home, had a couple of scotch and waters and watched a movie with the wife. I reflected on how glad I was that I didn't shoot the grandmother because I'd still be filling out the justifiable homicide paper work. I am NOT over the car scratching episode but I think it too will pass. Christmas is the merriest time of the year!
12-22-2009, 01:17 PM
#4
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12-22-2009, 01:36 PM
#5
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The old battle axe grabs the socks from me ...and the just walk off with the socks. WTF?
I shop like I am a navy seal on a mission...
I must disagree sir. A Navy Seal would not have allowed an old women to walk off with something that had just been taken from his hand. I hate to say it, but if you're claiming that she blatantly ripped them away from you, you got punked by an old lady and a couple of pre teens. I hope you get some ***** for Christmas.
The rest of the story I sympathize with, I hate waiting in line behind those people. The car thing just plain sucks...
I shop like I am a navy seal on a mission...
I must disagree sir. A Navy Seal would not have allowed an old women to walk off with something that had just been taken from his hand. I hate to say it, but if you're claiming that she blatantly ripped them away from you, you got punked by an old lady and a couple of pre teens. I hope you get some ***** for Christmas.
The rest of the story I sympathize with, I hate waiting in line behind those people. The car thing just plain sucks...
12-22-2009, 02:06 PM
#6
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Did you call the insurance company? Did you talk to security, most malls have multiple cameras now?
Yeah, the comparison to the Navy (it's capitalized!) SEALs (it's capitalized since it's and acronym) is wrong. Drew is right. Seeing as how I've served with them, I know that none of them would let a granny walk away, they'd be polite, but HELL NO, she and kid wouldn't walk away with them.
BTW, welcome to the forum, LOL!
Yeah, the comparison to the Navy (it's capitalized!) SEALs (it's capitalized since it's and acronym) is wrong. Drew is right. Seeing as how I've served with them, I know that none of them would let a granny walk away, they'd be polite, but HELL NO, she and kid wouldn't walk away with them.
BTW, welcome to the forum, LOL!
12-22-2009, 03:08 PM
#8
Bytes
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The old battle axe grabs the socks from me ...and the just walk off with the socks. WTF?
I shop like I am a navy seal on a mission...
I must disagree sir. A Navy Seal would not have allowed an old women to walk off with something that had just been taken from his hand. I hate to say it, but if you're claiming that she blatantly ripped them away from you, you got punked by an old lady and a couple of pre teens. I hope you get some ***** for Christmas.
The rest of the story I sympathize with, I hate waiting in line behind those people. The car thing just plain sucks...
I shop like I am a navy seal on a mission...
I must disagree sir. A Navy Seal would not have allowed an old women to walk off with something that had just been taken from his hand. I hate to say it, but if you're claiming that she blatantly ripped them away from you, you got punked by an old lady and a couple of pre teens. I hope you get some ***** for Christmas.
The rest of the story I sympathize with, I hate waiting in line behind those people. The car thing just plain sucks...
Getting some ***** for Christmas? Ummm, OK. I see your point. It would of been much better to get into a some sort of altercation with a 70+ year old lady, verbal, or physical would have been even better
Not really, sarcasm off, it just seemed easier to just grab another pair of socks off the rack. Had I known what was coming next, I would have probably handled it your way.The scotch and water when I got home did help though.
12-26-2009, 07:11 PM
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12-26-2009, 08:18 PM
#11
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Ok how about this one. Wed 3 pm last minute runnin' around shopping for my restaurant. Need 2 cases of Colorado lamb shanks and in a panic. Need them for Christmas Eve Dinner. 185 Reservations. Find them an hour away. 4 pm Stuck on the Cross County Parkway in Mount Vernon NY, Trying to get back, stopped dead staring at the car in front of me when WHAM, BANG, BANG, BANG, I'm in the Front of a 4 car accident. Thank god I'm driving a 6000# Ford pickup with 250,000 miles on it. I didn't move foward 1 inch. I'm thinkin', I'm ok and how much worse could the tailgate be? I look back and see the guy behind me is fine, albeit a little dazed. I wave and drive away. I begin to laugh histerically. Instead of WTF!!! Why now, Why Me???? I laughed all the way home. The shanks were great. Slow braised with fresh herbs, red wine and garlic, served with local potatoes and roasted parsnips. Merry Christmas to all.
12-27-2009, 04:53 PM
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It's funny you should mention that. I would love to host a BBQ for SH owners sometime in spring/summer/fall (pick one). I know there are quite a few SH's within a few hours. We have a large back lawn and deck with a bar. Plenty of parking. We hold a community car/tractor/motorcycle show in the fall and hundreds turn out. There my '98 SH sits among vintage BSA's, Triumphs, Vincents,Ducs, Beemers, Guzzis actin all new like. It's alot of fun and no judging. I'm up for this if any else are. It's a good destination for those from PA-VT. I'll supply the food and bar. Let me know.
Here. Google map this: 673 Croton Heights Road, Yorktown Heights NY 10598
or www.prattsinn.com
Here. Google map this: 673 Croton Heights Road, Yorktown Heights NY 10598
or www.prattsinn.com
Last edited by JPP; 12-27-2009 at 04:54 PM. Reason: addition
12-28-2009, 03:01 PM
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It's funny you should mention that. I would love to host a BBQ for SH owners sometime in spring/summer/fall (pick one). I know there are quite a few SH's within a few hours. We have a large back lawn and deck with a bar. Plenty of parking. We hold a community car/tractor/motorcycle show in the fall and hundreds turn out. There my '98 SH sits among vintage BSA's, Triumphs, Vincents,Ducs, Beemers, Guzzis actin all new like. It's alot of fun and no judging. I'm up for this if any else are. It's a good destination for those from PA-VT. I'll supply the food and bar. Let me know.
Here. Google map this: 673 Croton Heights Road, Yorktown Heights NY 10598
or www.prattsinn.com
Here. Google map this: 673 Croton Heights Road, Yorktown Heights NY 10598
or www.prattsinn.com
2.5 hours from me, between 130-140 miles depending on route. For the comraderie, for the food, for the vintage bikes. Let me know.
12-28-2009, 06:53 PM
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The old battle axe grabs the socks from me ...and the just walk off with the socks. WTF?
I shop like I am a navy seal on a mission...
I must disagree sir. A Navy Seal would not have allowed an old women to walk off with something that had just been taken from his hand. I hate to say it, but if you're claiming that she blatantly ripped them away from you, you got punked by an old lady and a couple of pre teens. I hope you get some ***** for Christmas.
I shop like I am a navy seal on a mission...
I must disagree sir. A Navy Seal would not have allowed an old women to walk off with something that had just been taken from his hand. I hate to say it, but if you're claiming that she blatantly ripped them away from you, you got punked by an old lady and a couple of pre teens. I hope you get some ***** for Christmas.
Yeah, the comparison to the Navy (it's capitalized!) SEALs (it's capitalized since it's and acronym) is wrong. Drew is right. Seeing as how I've served with them, I know that none of them would let a granny walk away, they'd be polite, but HELL NO, she and kid wouldn't walk away with them.
i always wonder why people who have served in the military, especially specialist divisions, are always such touchy ******** and often think they are better than other people. anyway ITS CALLED A FIGURE OF SPEECH
what would you guys have done? assaulted a granny? since of course she had already grabbed the item off you and there was NO possible way to get it back without some degree of force? she wouldnt have agreed to give it back so you would have at least had to restrain/grab her and remove it from her hand. yeah that would have been great, thats the right thing to do.
bytes, that totally sucks but hey we all have bad days and there are ******** like that woman everywhere in life just have to let it go
12-28-2009, 08:14 PM
#17
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First of all Forde, I'm not a SEAL, I am educated enough to know that in English Grammar, acronyms are capitalized. More often than not, they have periods between each letter.
Second, I am in the United States Navy, therefore I take great pride in what I do. If the author is referring to a specific navy, and he was, then it is capitalized.
So, I'm not being a "touchy *******" as you so eloquently put it and I don't think I'm better than anyone. I'm just showing that I know and can use proper grammar, not that an Irishman would give a **** about speaking or spelling correctly.
You should go find K.D. Williams thread about the Harley rider. The question is asked in there, why let it go. Why roll over and play dead? Why not stand up for yourself? That's right, the UK always needs the US to back them up. There ya go, not only do I think that we're better, but history has proved it. You'd be speaking German if it weren't for us Rebels.
Second, I am in the United States Navy, therefore I take great pride in what I do. If the author is referring to a specific navy, and he was, then it is capitalized.
So, I'm not being a "touchy *******" as you so eloquently put it and I don't think I'm better than anyone. I'm just showing that I know and can use proper grammar, not that an Irishman would give a **** about speaking or spelling correctly.
You should go find K.D. Williams thread about the Harley rider. The question is asked in there, why let it go. Why roll over and play dead? Why not stand up for yourself? That's right, the UK always needs the US to back them up. There ya go, not only do I think that we're better, but history has proved it. You'd be speaking German if it weren't for us Rebels.
01-03-2010, 07:16 AM
#18
Bytes
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Erik, thanks for your service. It is people like you and your military bretheren that make it possible for us to have discussions like this. Again, sorry about a shitty analogy.
I read KD's thread ( https://www.superhawkforum.com/forum...ad.php?t=19711 ).
First off, I am NOT saying KD or any of the like responses were wrong. It is a personal choice to be made by each individual. I would have laughed and dropped it. Let the **** stick ride on. The upside to kicking his *** compared to the possible down side just isn't enough for me to take a chance on proving any sort of point. The reason I say that is because I carry a 1911 with me 95% of the time. When I was taking my permit class it was pointed out to all of us that we weren't the only armed citizens out there. Some carry legally, some don't. The chances of that Harley ******* pulling out a side arm, wasting KD, and driving off aren't really high, but they are also far from zero. I have been around firearms most of my life. Since I have been carrying and have LETHAL force at my disposal I have had a complete re-think on when and where to engage in any sort of altercation. Even when grandmothers that grab my Christmas presents
Again, thanks for your service and be safe!
I read KD's thread ( https://www.superhawkforum.com/forum...ad.php?t=19711 ).
First off, I am NOT saying KD or any of the like responses were wrong. It is a personal choice to be made by each individual. I would have laughed and dropped it. Let the **** stick ride on. The upside to kicking his *** compared to the possible down side just isn't enough for me to take a chance on proving any sort of point. The reason I say that is because I carry a 1911 with me 95% of the time. When I was taking my permit class it was pointed out to all of us that we weren't the only armed citizens out there. Some carry legally, some don't. The chances of that Harley ******* pulling out a side arm, wasting KD, and driving off aren't really high, but they are also far from zero. I have been around firearms most of my life. Since I have been carrying and have LETHAL force at my disposal I have had a complete re-think on when and where to engage in any sort of altercation. Even when grandmothers that grab my Christmas presents
Again, thanks for your service and be safe!
01-04-2010, 06:46 PM
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My original post was meant in jest, I apologize if I offended anyone with my sometimes "off" sense of humor.
I have to respectfully disagree with you on this one. I have served directly with the Brits on a few occasions and they are among the finest soldiers in the world. They are also our biggest allies in the war right now.
01-04-2010, 07:12 PM
#22
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I agree, Drew! The Brits hold their post.
I think the most humorous link that I remember is the color of the French National flag. Search also for French Army. This is some of the funniest (and true) stuff on the internet. Don't need to go to Google - it's all right here.
I think the most humorous link that I remember is the color of the French National flag. Search also for French Army. This is some of the funniest (and true) stuff on the internet. Don't need to go to Google - it's all right here.
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