Need opinions-am I a crybaby or is my buddy full of it
#1
evil man of nothing
MotoGP
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Boynton Beach, FL
Posts: 4,484
Need opinions-am I a crybaby or is my buddy full of it
Okay....Kinda long story but this is important to me if you have a minute. I've been searching for someone who will actually side with my buddy (have not found anyone yet) because I haven't spoken to him in a long time over this...and it's not the money it's the principle because friends don't/shouldn't treat each other like this. I bought a '00 ZX12 for $5100. It was a screaming deal because the bike was pretty nice and had a bunch of extras. Anyway I kept it and cleaned it up for a year and my buddy-my best friend from college who I've known for like 10 years, starts expressing an interest in buying it from me. I began thinking of getting rid of it because I could use the money & didn't get to ride it often enough. To make a long story short(er) I don't like selling bikes to my friends/people I know because I don't want to hear about it if something goes wrong down the road. Anyway I told him I really didn't want to sell it to him for that reason and also because I wanted to sell it to someone else and make myself a few bucks. I would only sell it to him for the same price I paid because I don't make money off my friends, and I really didn't want to do that. Well he proceeded to turn his friggin travelling salesman on and give me every reason why it was only worth what I paid for it, hounding and becoming downright annoying calling and bugging me about it. Well we finally agreed that $5500 was more than fair because I could have sold it all day long for $6500, and he could keep it for awhile and resell it and not lose a dime. I told him I wanted a cashiers check or cash, and he said sure for what we agreed on-$5100. I had to correct him several times with the amount...and at the last minute he wanted to show up with a personal check....Anyway I started worrying about even making a few hundred bucks off my friend and felt wrong about it so I decided to spend the difference and surprise him with new tires, new brakes, suspension put back to stock ride height, bought and mounted horns (had to custom fab brackets) detailed the bike, and I'm sure a bunch of other stuff I forgot. By the way he told me he'd pay for anything I thought it may need-just take it to a shop and have it done...I did it all myself and paid for everything. Basically ran around like a lunatic and busted my *** working on it for a week to have it ready in time for him picking it up. A special tool is required to remove the front wheel that I didn't have and that after a full day of driving around begging every mechanic in South Florida I finally found a saint who lent it to me. My buddy was riding the bike back to Jersey and although it was fine the way it was I wanted it to be as safe as possible for him. Well after ALL that he turns around and sells the bike a couple months later for $6500 like it's no big deal-after all that b.s. about how it was only worth what I paid for it, and after all I did to it for him. Now it's ok if this is going on between people who don't know each other, but not between long time friends...
#2
The guy is obviously an ******* looking to make a buck off anyone even at his friends expense. I know people like this and avoid such transactions like the plague. I have the exact same views on selling to friends. I end up fixing anything that goes wrong even though there is no way I could have prevented it just because I don't want them to think I screwed them. I only sell things to technically savvy friends who know exactly what they're buying. When negotiating with friends the seller should throw out a low ball offer and the buyer works the price up until he knows the seller will be satisfied. It should be market value. The only deductions should account for not having to advertise the bike.
#3
You're right IMO. Just a guess though... I'm not "Ask Abby".
The dynamics of relationships are not always equal. So he kind of took a bit of advantage of you. Maybe. But that's relationships. Everyone has failings.
Just tell yourself you were right... and it wasn't fair... but big deal... you're friends... the balance scales may not be equal, but so what. You let it go & move ahead.
The dynamics of relationships are not always equal. So he kind of took a bit of advantage of you. Maybe. But that's relationships. Everyone has failings.
Just tell yourself you were right... and it wasn't fair... but big deal... you're friends... the balance scales may not be equal, but so what. You let it go & move ahead.
#4
I would just walk up to him, punch him in the gut, say opps I slipped, then I could let it go...I totally understand your frustration, that is why I never, ever under any circumstances get involved with friends or family, be it lending money, or selling them stuff etc....but of course you know that now, lol....Trust me the Gut shot works, and he deserves it!!
#6
Originally Posted by captainchaos
Okay....Kinda long story but this is important to me if you have a minute. I've been searching for someone who will actually side with my buddy (have not found anyone yet) because I haven't spoken to him in a long time over this...and it's not the money it's the principle because friends don't/shouldn't treat each other like this. I bought a '00 ZX12 for $5100. It was a screaming deal because the bike was pretty nice and had a bunch of extras. Anyway I kept it and cleaned it up for a year and my buddy-my best friend from college who I've known for like 10 years, starts expressing an interest in buying it from me. I began thinking of getting rid of it because I could use the money & didn't get to ride it often enough. To make a long story short(er) I don't like selling bikes to my friends/people I know because I don't want to hear about it if something goes wrong down the road. Anyway I told him I really didn't want to sell it to him for that reason and also because I wanted to sell it to someone else and make myself a few bucks. I would only sell it to him for the same price I paid because I don't make money off my friends, and I really didn't want to do that. Well he proceeded to turn his friggin travelling salesman on and give me every reason why it was only worth what I paid for it, hounding and becoming downright annoying calling and bugging me about it. Well we finally agreed that $5500 was more than fair because I could have sold it all day long for $6500, and he could keep it for awhile and resell it and not lose a dime. I told him I wanted a cashiers check or cash, and he said sure for what we agreed on-$5100. I had to correct him several times with the amount...and at the last minute he wanted to show up with a personal check....Anyway I started worrying about even making a few hundred bucks off my friend and felt wrong about it so I decided to spend the difference and surprise him with new tires, new brakes, suspension put back to stock ride height, bought and mounted horns (had to custom fab brackets) detailed the bike, and I'm sure a bunch of other stuff I forgot. By the way he told me he'd pay for anything I thought it may need-just take it to a shop and have it done...I did it all myself and paid for everything. Basically ran around like a lunatic and busted my *** working on it for a week to have it ready in time for him picking it up. A special tool is required to remove the front wheel that I didn't have and that after a full day of driving around begging every mechanic in South Florida I finally found a saint who lent it to me. My buddy was riding the bike back to Jersey and although it was fine the way it was I wanted it to be as safe as possible for him. Well after ALL that he turns around and sells the bike a couple months later for $6500 like it's no big deal-after all that b.s. about how it was only worth what I paid for it, and after all I did to it for him. Now it's ok if this is going on between people who don't know each other, but not between long time friends...
#8
A true friend does not dick over another friend to make a buck. Anyone who does so is either: 1) an ******* and no longer deserves your friendship, or 2) planning a huge surprise in your honor with the money he's made.
Ideally it's the latter, but in reality, yeah...sure...
Ideally it's the latter, but in reality, yeah...sure...
#9
I am actually going to side with your "friend" on this issue. It is simply because once you sold it to him, it's his to do as he pleases. Obviously, you value this friendship a great deal and went out of your way for him. You simply can't blame him for making money off the purchase though.
You knew how much it was worth and so did he. He just simply took advantage of your friendship with regarding to the price. In his perspective, he felt that you should sell it for what you paid.
As for selling it; You never know, it could have been that after the purchase and riding for a while, he didn't like the bike or that it could have developed mechanical problems. But for whatever the reason, he decided to sell it and if the market is $6500, why not sell it for that price?
But I do understand completely about the salemanship in order to nickle and dime you and you feel used about all this.
Don't feel bad or sweat over it. You should be proud at how you are a considerate person.
However, your friend should have offer you half the profit he made on his sale.....come to think about it, just get even and sleep with his wife/girlfriend..
You knew how much it was worth and so did he. He just simply took advantage of your friendship with regarding to the price. In his perspective, he felt that you should sell it for what you paid.
As for selling it; You never know, it could have been that after the purchase and riding for a while, he didn't like the bike or that it could have developed mechanical problems. But for whatever the reason, he decided to sell it and if the market is $6500, why not sell it for that price?
But I do understand completely about the salemanship in order to nickle and dime you and you feel used about all this.
Don't feel bad or sweat over it. You should be proud at how you are a considerate person.
However, your friend should have offer you half the profit he made on his sale.....come to think about it, just get even and sleep with his wife/girlfriend..
#10
Lovely! I would say that you remain friends and guarantee it will come up at some point.
If it were a scenario where you sold the bike for around what you paid for it without going out of your way to spruce it up a bit it wouldn't be such a big deal in my opinion. Since it went down the way you described I would tell him to go _____ himself. I can count my real friends on one hand. Three I've known since grade school and that was 30+ years ago. Real friends don't do that.
If it were a scenario where you sold the bike for around what you paid for it without going out of your way to spruce it up a bit it wouldn't be such a big deal in my opinion. Since it went down the way you described I would tell him to go _____ himself. I can count my real friends on one hand. Three I've known since grade school and that was 30+ years ago. Real friends don't do that.
#11
Excellent Points ALL!
I think Calitoz has it right. Good balance and a little humor at the end. That's good. I think you have the right to feel used and nobody likes feeling that way. This may have been temporary lapse of consideration and perhaps your friend will realize that one day. I wouldn't cash in a ten year friend on one sour note. As the other guys have said I think we have all learned the lesson about friends/relatives/in-laws etc. Give it some time and if you get a chance to boinck his girlfriend - go for it. :razz:
#13
yeah that sucks. i did a buddy a favor and sold him my clean chevy lumina for $1500 last year and about 6 months later after all he did was tint the windows he sold it for $2200. and he begged me for a month to buy my car in the first place. what a @#$%!!!!
#14
Originally Posted by calitoz
I am actually going to side with your "friend" on this issue. It is simply because once you sold it to him, it's his to do as he pleases. Obviously, you value this friendship a great deal and went out of your way for him. You simply can't blame him for making money off the purchase though.
You knew how much it was worth and so did he. He just simply took advantage of your friendship with regarding to the price. In his perspective, he felt that you should sell it for what you paid.
As for selling it; You never know, it could have been that after the purchase and riding for a while, he didn't like the bike or that it could have developed mechanical problems. But for whatever the reason, he decided to sell it and if the market is $6500, why not sell it for that price?
But I do understand completely about the salemanship in order to nickle and dime you and you feel used about all this.
Don't feel bad or sweat over it. You should be proud at how you are a considerate person.
However, your friend should have offer you half the profit he made on his sale.....come to think about it, just get even and sleep with his wife/girlfriend..
You knew how much it was worth and so did he. He just simply took advantage of your friendship with regarding to the price. In his perspective, he felt that you should sell it for what you paid.
As for selling it; You never know, it could have been that after the purchase and riding for a while, he didn't like the bike or that it could have developed mechanical problems. But for whatever the reason, he decided to sell it and if the market is $6500, why not sell it for that price?
But I do understand completely about the salemanship in order to nickle and dime you and you feel used about all this.
Don't feel bad or sweat over it. You should be proud at how you are a considerate person.
However, your friend should have offer you half the profit he made on his sale.....come to think about it, just get even and sleep with his wife/girlfriend..
#18
Cheap bikes are a dime a dozen in NJ/NY area, if you ask me. I think he may have taken advantage of you.
It reminds me of my friend from college, Roger. Roger's dad owned a company that made boxer shorts. I went to work for them one summer and made boxer shorts in a freakin' 120 degree warehouse. My buddy told me that I was making $5.00 an hour. He would get my money from his dad and pay me directly in cash. Turns out I was making $8.00 an hour and he just kept $3.00 an hour of my money for himself.
Not really someone to trust from there on out.
Edit: my point was, you can still be his friend, but you can't trust him with money or women from now on. That's all. Just say, "Yeah, right. You're paying for your own sh*t from now on."
It reminds me of my friend from college, Roger. Roger's dad owned a company that made boxer shorts. I went to work for them one summer and made boxer shorts in a freakin' 120 degree warehouse. My buddy told me that I was making $5.00 an hour. He would get my money from his dad and pay me directly in cash. Turns out I was making $8.00 an hour and he just kept $3.00 an hour of my money for himself.
Not really someone to trust from there on out.
Edit: my point was, you can still be his friend, but you can't trust him with money or women from now on. That's all. Just say, "Yeah, right. You're paying for your own sh*t from now on."
#19
tell the truth
Tough story. Hate to get all Dr. Phil on you but I think it's best to tell him what you have shared with all of us. After that then hopefully (if he really is a real friend) he will understand and do the right thing...in my opinion it is to give you the additional profit from the sale. If he acts like an ******* then unfortunately he isn't a real friend and isn't someone you want to keep treating as one in the future. Just my two cents. Hope all works out well. Keep us posted.
#21
Your buddy is a bit of a dou*che bag. Friends don't grow on trees so I wouldn't dis-own him but I wouldn't go out of my way for him again. And I'd pour a little milk under his car seat next time I had the chance.
#23
evil man of nothing
MotoGP
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Boynton Beach, FL
Posts: 4,484
Holy dig up an old post...anyway we can put this one to bed...he "passed" by his own hand about a year and a half ago. Long story & we had been through alot together. No one including his own family agreed with what he did with the above situation but it's all water under the bridge now, he obviously had alot bigger issues than the bike I sold him. He could be a dick sometimes but he was my best friend for many years & I still miss him every day.
#24
Yeah, that's bullshit. Even if his circumstances changed where he had to go sell the bike, and that's fine for him to get what its worth, but he should have felt obligated to split the profits with you in some way, either with money, gifts, or return favors.
But people that screw others over don't go around feeling bad about it. Instead they find a way to justify what they did. I'm sure he's got some line of thought to justify his actions to himself. If he can't be convinced he's done wrong, then he won't pay, so you might as well avoid him.
I sold my first bike to a kid for $2400 and bought it back from his friend 10 months later for $1000 with plans of flipping it. The kid never rode it, it sat in a parking garage where I delivered it to, and the fuel fouled it up and the battery died. I felt a little bad about paying only $1000 for it, but...
I didn't buy it back from the kid, it was from his friend who was selling it for him as a favor because the kid skipped town.
This guy threw the $1000 price at me, I did not negotiate him down to that value.
The bike although never ridden, needs some TLC from sitting and fouling up.
But my #1 justification for stealing it back... when the kid bought it, I had buyers lined up to look at it, he was in love with it, agreed on $2500, and then after wasting my time and money was ready to change hands he pulled this last second BS to get me down to $2400. I resisted at first, but then finally said **** it, whatever, he's a kid, new rider, cut him some slack, etc. But afterwards that really pissed me off that he had the nerve to pull that. I mean, $100 can buy quite a few steak dinners.
I seriously hope this guy I paid $1000 to tells his friend I bought it, and for how much, and I hope he feels like a chump too. I get the last laugh on this one. Maybe I'll send him a letter too when I sell it in 3 weeks for $2500.
But people that screw others over don't go around feeling bad about it. Instead they find a way to justify what they did. I'm sure he's got some line of thought to justify his actions to himself. If he can't be convinced he's done wrong, then he won't pay, so you might as well avoid him.
I sold my first bike to a kid for $2400 and bought it back from his friend 10 months later for $1000 with plans of flipping it. The kid never rode it, it sat in a parking garage where I delivered it to, and the fuel fouled it up and the battery died. I felt a little bad about paying only $1000 for it, but...
I didn't buy it back from the kid, it was from his friend who was selling it for him as a favor because the kid skipped town.
This guy threw the $1000 price at me, I did not negotiate him down to that value.
The bike although never ridden, needs some TLC from sitting and fouling up.
But my #1 justification for stealing it back... when the kid bought it, I had buyers lined up to look at it, he was in love with it, agreed on $2500, and then after wasting my time and money was ready to change hands he pulled this last second BS to get me down to $2400. I resisted at first, but then finally said **** it, whatever, he's a kid, new rider, cut him some slack, etc. But afterwards that really pissed me off that he had the nerve to pull that. I mean, $100 can buy quite a few steak dinners.
I seriously hope this guy I paid $1000 to tells his friend I bought it, and for how much, and I hope he feels like a chump too. I get the last laugh on this one. Maybe I'll send him a letter too when I sell it in 3 weeks for $2500.
#26
Damn...didn't look at the original date of the post. Sorry to hear that. I know how hard it is when a good friend does something stupid that pisses you off. Like you now realize, even the big problems don't seem to matter much when you loose a friend.
#27
Holy dig up an old post...anyway we can put this one to bed...he "passed" by his own hand about a year and a half ago. Long story & we had been through alot together. No one including his own family agreed with what he did with the above situation but it's all water under the bridge now, he obviously had alot bigger issues than the bike I sold him. He could be a dick sometimes but he was my best friend for many years & I still miss him every day.
#1 be you own best friend, and if someone else wants to be your friend, you'll have two.
#2 friends need to be held accountable in the same manner you hold yourself accountable.
#3 friendship is not doing stuff for others to gain/hold their friendship, then feeling bad when they don't reciprocate.
#4 do things out of kindness/because you want to and expect nothing in return other than a good feeling about it. If you get reciprocity, it's a bonus.
#5 friends will tell you who they are by their actions over time, not their words.
#29
hell yeah, couldnt have said it better
that guy will stab you in the back & steal your wife if you let him.. More importantly he double crossed you with the bike deal. Not cool....
I just realized this post is almost 3 years old......these guys dont even remember this anymore or ar best friends
Last edited by lynchie; 06-05-2009 at 12:45 PM.
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