8541Hawk

Written by a man over 60 with some interesting ideas... )


I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ***-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. "My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry." We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some ******* that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, "I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch."

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave and to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause! You think men have attitudes! Ohhhhhh my God! If nothing else, put them on border patrol--they'll have it secured the first night!

autoteach

I would congratulated you on a good joke if I thought it was, but I know it isnt. But, its a damn good plan, although some of our youth need military obedience training.

Little_Horse

I agree

Anyone else experienced that crazy "old man" strength first hand ?

nuhawk

If it's true that what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger then it only makes sense to send your strongest warriors in from the go. There's always going to be the young ones who will grow old in the service and those old farts that shouldn't have signed up in the first place.

It's an interesting concept and makes me wonder if they offered it what the response might be.

skokievtr

I missed out on Nam because I was lucky and don't know what I would have done if I couldn't have gone somewhere else. What I always heard was not to volunteer for anything. I have survived despite 40+ years of risk taking almost every day and gained the experience (old age) and cunning so that I usually win out over strength (youth) and exuberance. The more times you do something the less likely you'll make a mistake. But when your time is up its up. I didn't start peaking until at 50. Us older humans should not be as expendable as youngsters because what has been invested in us in time and money far exceeds an 18~42 year old. More was invested in us baby boomers than in any other generation before and maybe for all time. Our parents were the greatest generation, being the most dedicated to both good and bad. Boomers are soft in comparison and our kids are softer yet. Our kids grew up so fast we hardly had time to mold them into whatever we thought we could. By the time they were 11 they had less use for us than any other prior generation. Getting into wars we can't win started when we were born and has continued since. Investing lives first to fight the commies and the domino theory and now the Muslim fanatics means we've learned nothing from history. Like the Crusaders we should resign ourselves to another 50 year war (100?); and I'm not sure our capitalist system will survive. The rise and fall of Amerika. We don't make anything anymore, we just provide services. The Chinese, if they don't allow N Korea or some other ex-Soviet block war head (or the French don't let Iran) start a nuclear holocaust, will either win in the end or explode trying. Not a pretty picture. I remember always wanting to "play war" as a kid and it was acceptable. Today we want the kids to kill for us but not bring it home yet don't want to know or be bothered with whats going on. It cost $80,000 a year to keep one GI in the field in Nam but now over $800,000 per year to do the same in Afghanistan, where they also don't want us there in the first place. Any boomer with any brains would/should agree when I say just nuke em. They're going to hate as much either way. Lets just keep the oil wells accessible so we can ride our VTRs.

8541Hawk

Have you guys hear of the term "Humor"??

Just passing along something pretty funny......

Well carry on......

Old Yeller

I'm only 50, but I'm in!

comedo

I thought it was funny.

skokievtr

I guess some people don't get my dark humor. Got you going eh? Nuke em

skokievtr

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Fe17...eature=related

nuke em

1971allchaos

Did my 12yrs, -and 4yrs of it fighting , searching, or waiting on the terrorists games..
Got some sun in the sand, got to eat real oriental food (dog, snake or cat- which ever was available).
And was well trained in, someone YELLING orders at me, before i got married (at 38yrs old).
the pay wasn't great, the food wasn't good.- Yet if the option was open for us older men to go..
I would be in the first striking force....