Post Whoring Newbie Thread
Post Whore Junior
MotoGP
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,825
From: Triad, NC
Look, I see where you guys get what you believe.. I'm good with that.. I just have my own beliefs..
Post Whore Junior
MotoGP
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,825
From: Triad, NC
Who is the second pic?
What are you talking about?
you too..
you too..
Post Whore Junior
MotoGP
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,825
From: Triad, NC
Barrack Obama Has Chosen His Running Mate.
It Was Announced Today That He Has Selected Sylvester Stallone As His Choice For Vice President.
They Will Run As "Sambo And Rambo"
Also, I Heard That Nancy Peolosi Is Going To Be Secretary Of State.
So It Will Be "Sambo, Rambo, And Bimbo"
Add Fat Al Bore As Secretary Of The Environment And John Kerry As Secretary Of Defense And You Will Have
"Sambo, Rambo, Bimbo, Dumbo, And *****"
It Was Announced Today That He Has Selected Sylvester Stallone As His Choice For Vice President.
They Will Run As "Sambo And Rambo"
Also, I Heard That Nancy Peolosi Is Going To Be Secretary Of State.
So It Will Be "Sambo, Rambo, And Bimbo"
Add Fat Al Bore As Secretary Of The Environment And John Kerry As Secretary Of Defense And You Will Have
"Sambo, Rambo, Bimbo, Dumbo, And *****"
Post Whore Junior
MotoGP
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,825
From: Triad, NC
This couple were in bed getting busy when the girl places the guys
hand onto her *****. "Put your finger in me..." she asks him. So he
does without hesitation, as she starts moaning. "Put two fingers
in...", she says. So in goes another one. She's really starting to get
worked up when she says, "Put your whole hand in!". The guy's like,
"Ok!". So he has his entire hand in, when she says moaning aloud "Put
both your hands inside of me!!!". So the guy puts both of his hands
in! "Now clap your hands..." commands the girl. "I can't", says the
guy. The girl looks at him and says "See, I told you I had a tight
*****!".
hand onto her *****. "Put your finger in me..." she asks him. So he
does without hesitation, as she starts moaning. "Put two fingers
in...", she says. So in goes another one. She's really starting to get
worked up when she says, "Put your whole hand in!". The guy's like,
"Ok!". So he has his entire hand in, when she says moaning aloud "Put
both your hands inside of me!!!". So the guy puts both of his hands
in! "Now clap your hands..." commands the girl. "I can't", says the
guy. The girl looks at him and says "See, I told you I had a tight
*****!".
Post Whore Junior
MotoGP
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,825
From: Triad, NC
Two old Jewish men, Sid and Al, are sitting in a Mexican restaurant in Los Angeles one day.. Sid asks Al, 'Do you know of any people of our faith born and raised in Mexico?' Al replies, 'I don't know, let's ask our waiter.'
When the waiter arrives, Al asks, 'Are there any Mexican Jews?' The waiter says, 'I don't know senor, I ask the cooks.' He returns from the kitchen after a few minutes and says, 'No senor, the cook say no Mexican Jews.'
Al isn't satisfied and asks, 'Are you absolutely sure?' The waiter, realizing he is dealing with 'Gringos' replies, 'I check once again, Senor!' and goes back into the kitchen. While the waiter is away, Sid says, 'I find it hard to believe that there are no Jews in Mexico. Our people are scattered everywhere.'
The waiter returns and says, 'Senor, the head cook Tom say there is no Mexican Jews.' 'Are you certain?' Al asks again. 'I just can't believe there are no Mexican Jews!'
'SENOR, I ask EVERYONE,' replies the exasperated waiter, ' All we have is Orange Jews, Grape Jews, Prune Jews, and Tomato Jews.'
When the waiter arrives, Al asks, 'Are there any Mexican Jews?' The waiter says, 'I don't know senor, I ask the cooks.' He returns from the kitchen after a few minutes and says, 'No senor, the cook say no Mexican Jews.'
Al isn't satisfied and asks, 'Are you absolutely sure?' The waiter, realizing he is dealing with 'Gringos' replies, 'I check once again, Senor!' and goes back into the kitchen. While the waiter is away, Sid says, 'I find it hard to believe that there are no Jews in Mexico. Our people are scattered everywhere.'
The waiter returns and says, 'Senor, the head cook Tom say there is no Mexican Jews.' 'Are you certain?' Al asks again. 'I just can't believe there are no Mexican Jews!'
'SENOR, I ask EVERYONE,' replies the exasperated waiter, ' All we have is Orange Jews, Grape Jews, Prune Jews, and Tomato Jews.'
Post Whore Junior
MotoGP
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,825
From: Triad, NC
My ex wife asked what reincarnation is. I explained, when you die you come back as something else. She said she wanted to come back as a pig.
I said, 'You're not listening.'
I cannot express how much this made me laugh..
I said, 'You're not listening.'
I cannot express how much this made me laugh..
Post Whore Junior
MotoGP
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,825
From: Triad, NC
Woman in labour, shouting and screaming: 'Get this out of me! Give me drugs!' She turns to the boyfriend and says 'You did this to me, you bastard!'.
He replied casually, 'If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your **** but you said, '**** off- it'll be too painful! Now who's laughing?'
He replied casually, 'If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your **** but you said, '**** off- it'll be too painful! Now who's laughing?'
Post Whore Junior
MotoGP
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,825
From: Triad, NC
Woman goes into a shoe shop and sees a gorgeous pair of white stilettos. She asks what are they made of. The assistant said they were made from human skin and cost $1500.00 a pair. The woman said she could not afford that.
The assistant said says 'Don't worry, we have them in black for $4.99.'
The assistant said says 'Don't worry, we have them in black for $4.99.'
Post Whore Junior
MotoGP
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,825
From: Triad, NC
A man, having applied to join the police force, is being interviewed.
The Inspector says 'Your qualifications are first-class but there is one test that you must pass before I can recruit you.' Sliding a small bag across the desk, he continues 'Take this gun, go out and shoot six illegal immigrants, six asylum seekers and a rabbit.'
The man says 'Why the rabbit?'
'Fantastic attitude!' says the inspector. 'When can you start?'
The Inspector says 'Your qualifications are first-class but there is one test that you must pass before I can recruit you.' Sliding a small bag across the desk, he continues 'Take this gun, go out and shoot six illegal immigrants, six asylum seekers and a rabbit.'
The man says 'Why the rabbit?'
'Fantastic attitude!' says the inspector. 'When can you start?'
Post Whore Junior
MotoGP
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,825
From: Triad, NC
At an Irish wedding, everyone got drunk.
The bride's and groom's families wrecked the reception hall fighting with each other. The police had to break up the fighting.
The next week, both families were in court.
The judge asked, "All right now, what happened?"
Paddy rose and said, "Judge, I was the best man. I should explain what happened."
"Go ahead, Paddy," said the judge. "Take the stand."
Paddy explained, "Per tradition, the best man got the first dance with the bride. After I finished my first dance, the music kept playing, so I danced a second song, and then the music kept going some more so I danced a third song.
"All of a sudden, the groom leapt over the table, ran to us, and gave the bride an unmerciful kick, right between her legs!"
The shocked judge said, "By God, that must have hurt!"
"Hurt?" replied Paddy, "He broke three of me fingers!"
The bride's and groom's families wrecked the reception hall fighting with each other. The police had to break up the fighting.
The next week, both families were in court.
The judge asked, "All right now, what happened?"
Paddy rose and said, "Judge, I was the best man. I should explain what happened."
"Go ahead, Paddy," said the judge. "Take the stand."
Paddy explained, "Per tradition, the best man got the first dance with the bride. After I finished my first dance, the music kept playing, so I danced a second song, and then the music kept going some more so I danced a third song.
"All of a sudden, the groom leapt over the table, ran to us, and gave the bride an unmerciful kick, right between her legs!"
The shocked judge said, "By God, that must have hurt!"
"Hurt?" replied Paddy, "He broke three of me fingers!"
Post Whore Junior
MotoGP
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,825
From: Triad, NC
A lady Canadian libertarian wrote a lot of letters to the government, complaining about the treatment of captive insurgents (terrorists) being held in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities. She received back the following reply ...
National Defence Headquarters
MGen George R. Pearkes Bldg, 15 NT 101 Colonel By Drive
Ottawa, ON K1A 0K2 Canada
Dear Concerned Citizen,
Thank you for your recent letter expressing your profound concern of treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda terrorists captured by Canadian Forces who were subsequently transferred to the Afghanistan Government and are currently being held by Afghan officials in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities.
Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinions were heard loud and clear here in Ottawa . You will be pleased to learn, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself, we are creating a new department here at the Department of National Defense, to be called 'Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers' program, or L.A.R.K. for short.
In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to divert one terrorist and place him in your personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and is scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence in Toronto next
Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommend in your letter.
Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his 'attitudinal problem' will help him overcome these character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. We understand that you plan to offer counselling and home schooling.
Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him.
Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except sexually) since he views females as a subhuman form of property. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him and he has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire. I'm sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka over time. Just remember that it is all part of 'respecting his culture and religious beliefs' as described in your letter.
Thanks again for your concern. We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job and care for our fellow man. You take good care of Ahmed and remember, we'll be watching. Good luck and God bless you.
Cordially ... Minister of National Defense
National Defence Headquarters
MGen George R. Pearkes Bldg, 15 NT 101 Colonel By Drive
Ottawa, ON K1A 0K2 Canada
Dear Concerned Citizen,
Thank you for your recent letter expressing your profound concern of treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda terrorists captured by Canadian Forces who were subsequently transferred to the Afghanistan Government and are currently being held by Afghan officials in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities.
Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinions were heard loud and clear here in Ottawa . You will be pleased to learn, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself, we are creating a new department here at the Department of National Defense, to be called 'Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers' program, or L.A.R.K. for short.
In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to divert one terrorist and place him in your personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and is scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence in Toronto next
Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommend in your letter.
Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his 'attitudinal problem' will help him overcome these character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. We understand that you plan to offer counselling and home schooling.
Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him.
Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except sexually) since he views females as a subhuman form of property. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him and he has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire. I'm sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka over time. Just remember that it is all part of 'respecting his culture and religious beliefs' as described in your letter.
Thanks again for your concern. We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job and care for our fellow man. You take good care of Ahmed and remember, we'll be watching. Good luck and God bless you.
Cordially ... Minister of National Defense
