During a church service, a pastor asked the congregation if they had anything they wanted to share that made them thankful.


A woman stood up and said, "I'm thankful because two months ago, my husband had a terrible bicycle wreck. Jim's ******* was smashed, he was in excruciating pain, and doctors didn't know if they could help him."


A gasp rose from the men in the congregation as they imagined poor Jim's pain.


"Jim was unable to hold me or the children," the woman continued. "Every move caused him terrible pain. Doctors performed a delicate operation to piece together the crushed remnants of Jim's ******* and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."


The men squirmed, imagining such surgery.


"But now," she said, "Jim is out of the hospital and the doctors say his ******* should recover completely." With that, she sat down as the men exhaled in unison.


The pastor tentatively asked, "Does anyone else have anything to say?"


A man rose and said, "Good morning. I'm Jim, and I just want to tell my wife, once again, that the word is 'sternum' not "*******'!"