Biker's revenge: What's the best way to retaliate on a cager?
 

Yeah, I know, probably not a wise idea, but I'm tempted on occasion to get back at stupid cagers anyways. Sometimes the only thing holding me back is not thinking quickly enough or knowing what to do.

So if I'm going to do it, I'll do it right.

I've heard all the ideas about carrying spark plugs or ball bearings... sounds easy enough.

But what can you or have you done when you're not equipped? Say some cager tries to run you off the road at 80mph and you're in the mood to teach him/her a lesson.

I have steel toe boots, and some pretty hard carbon fiber knuckles on my gloves, I think I could take out a mirror easily or put a dent in their door and then hightail it out of there. But I'm sure it's easier said than done. Knowing me, I'd probably punch their mirror, hurt my hand, then fall off my bike and get run over by them.

Any tips? I was thinking I could practice on my friend's pos truck for fun.

Well being happy you're still upright and letting it go is probably a better option than getting shot, but I know that's not what you want to hear lol. One option was what happened to me a bunch of years back when some jackass in his integra drove me off onto the shoulder at 80 mph for no reason. I gave him the benefit and said he must've not seen me, until he did it again and his gf flicked her cigarette at me. Unknown to the dickhead in his integra I happened to have my brother driving
his '70 lemans right next me. Dickhead took off and topped his little p.o.s. out at all of about 120. I was on a zx6. My brother pulled in front of him and helped him to pull off onto the shoulder and blocked him in. I pulled behind him and bashed my helmet again his roof a few times. It was pretty funny how scared he got. He rolled his window up LOL and when I told him to get out he said "Nooooo." He started his car back up and popped the clutch and stalled and rolled a few feet. It was satisfying but again I was young and I'd say 50% of the time is a great way to get shot.

Nowadays I think a better option is simply to take down someone's info and call it in. I got cut off BAD by a Pike electric truck on the highway this week. He was speeding and driving pretty reckless. His trailer started whipping back and forth and into another lane and forced some poor lady onto the shoulder and almost caused an accident. I pulled next to him and gave him the thumbs up and of course the finger, and he started cursing and yelling at me. See how funny it is when I call your boss with your truck # shithead. I would've let it go if he simply would've put his hand up and said sorry.

i just read an editorial in one of the big mags on this very subject. written by an avid biker. but was driving a car, and got into it with a sportbiker. can't remember which mag but had a few good points. main point being, use your head - do you really want to start something en-route as vulnerable as you are on a bike? the first reaction of most of these threads seems to be anytime a car intrudes on us, its intentional and a result of stupidity. if you spend anytime in car at all in an area with a lot of bikes, you find lots of times bikes are being ridden by squids, or in a speed/manner that is way out of the norm to traffic - I'm not talking quiet twisties, but in traffic. bikes move fast, accelerate, change direction very quickly, are small and hide in blind spots easily. if as an experience rider you haven't realized that most of traffic, even good intentioned drivers, don't always register the speed differential and some of these other factors, then you get what you deserve. face it, bikes are easier to miss and fast riding contributes to it. not saying we don't do it, but use your head when you are less visible. displaying road rage at a genuine error only incites more rage. and to take it beyond that is ridiculous IMO. the image we leave will only leave a further negative impression for the next biker. you are defenseless on a bike. if you were wronged intentionally, you are still defenseless on a bike. think about your reaction - a car driver that intentionally wronged you will have an equal and even less stable reaction to your aggression - and he is completely enclosed - you are not much more than a bug. you can feel invisible on your fast bike but your an idiot to let your rage start driving your bike/actions. report to law enforcement or take it up in your own way off the bike, remembering those things escalate too.

I feel both sides of the argument. When I'm on the bike I get mad at the cagers who drive like douche bags and don't seem to realize I exist. Then again when I'm commuting to work in the truck and I see squids riding like squids, particularly in the dark early morning hours, I want to run them off the road and smash their faces into jelly.

My solution is to do nothing about either one. Live and let live.

why would you bother carrying ball bearings and shit

i usually just pull alongside and stick my boot in the door a good few times then accelerate off, you can kick their mirror off too if ya want

I know it's a bad idea. Sheesh.

Snorting coke is a bad idea too. But damn, if I post a thread on "how do I cut a line of coke" I don't want to read all this crap about how it's bad for me. I already know that.

Go save a whale or something!

I can honestly say that if some guy on a bike started kicking my truck I would without hesitation swerve into and over top of them. Then claim "panic" when asked by the police why I did it. I'm not exaggerating at all on this one...

I'm with you there, Drew! The truck is the messenger. Sometimes the message ain't sweet. On the bike I don't have that. I have followed/chased down drivers who piss me off and I make sure they understand my anger before they slam the garage door in my face. (actually happened)

Writing down a LP number while on the move is difficult as well.

Another member here said it and I remember it every time I ride. "Drive like you are invisible."

Cliby makes a good point too and the Superhawk does an outstanding job of being the original "time machine". To a cager you can get there and be there before you are supposed to arrive.

I used to kick driver's doors until about 15 or so years ago, when I decided I was tempting fate. I had a friend, Norton rider, who used to snap off radio antennas.:rotf:

It's really hard for me to do, but now I just give a WTF gesture and slap the side of my helmet. Especially with my wife riding with me (on her SV) I think that's a wiser move.

stupid idea ,
if the cagers aggressive too .........

car v bike dont usually go well for the biker

My thoughts;

If somebody does something stupid but unintentional, I'm not interested in revenge. I'll pull alongside, honk the horn and put up my hand like "WTF are you doing?".

If somebody is intentionally screwing with me, I might give them the finger and blast away up to 140 mph or so. That's about it.

When you're on your bike and start trading shit with an asshole in a 4000 lb. car, you're betting the asshole in the car is at least slightly less crazy than you are. You might win that bet 90% of the time, but you could run out of luck and die.

Nice if later you could find out where they park or live and teach them a lesson, but otherwise you're the one more likely to end up hurtin'.

intentional or not they could still kill me. and that won't do much for my family.

so, here are a few i've done. keep in mind that i'm 6'2" 255lbs and have plenty of rage waiting for anyone who crosses me. it's amazing how my size and temper has PREVENTED so many fights over my life! most quickly back off.

also, guns aren't a big worry in canada.

getting plate number and calling it in does fock all. the cops could not give a rat's ass about a biker, let alone a sportbiker. plus, they have bigger fish to fry.

* tucked in behind offender and followed. eventually the guy figured out that i was following him and he tried to lose me. eventually i calmed down and called his plate number into the police. they gave me a file number. a couple weeks later i called to se what happened. i gave them the file number and they had no idea what i was talking about.

* offender gets red light. i get off bike, take off helmet, knock on window, deliver rage through language, posture, and facial expressions. there was no way he was getting out or rolling the window down.

* just this spring a fancy chevy avalanche got my size 12 in the side of it's door at a red light. at the next red light i was still upset and keyed the rear fender. made sure i got out of there fast so nobody got my plate number.

i wish i could calm down but i can't. the idiotic, life threatening(to bikers and other cars) actions infuriate me past the boiling point. people don't think behind the wheel and they need someone to remind them that they have responsability to all drivers to pay attention.

Snapping antennas might be doable, and pricey to fix on some cars. Following until coming to a stop is probably safer.

The point in all this is to have a quick out. Yeah, I'm not going to ride down the freeway next to a car kicking his door repeatedly, that's suicide.

In Karate the first thing they taught us was to avoid the the fight if possible. The important thing is that you make it home safely. If you try to "fix" every asshole out there you are going to lose someday.

The best revenge is to live to ride another day. Slow down/speed up or do what you gotta to get away from them. It's not worth the legal hassle, medical hassle if things go wrong.

I too have been looking for a way to "wake up" most drivers. Lately it seems that going under the speed limit and cruising over the line around blind turns and blind hills is just how everyone drives. I was able to swerve at 2 cars the other day as they swerved out of my lane just to give them a jolt of reality (knowing we would not collide of course). Then that night some asshole was basically swerving INTO my lane coming the opposite direction because he wasn't paying attention. I got skinny, pulled the clutch in, and let the twin scream as he went by. Glad I didn't swerve into him hehe.

The antenna idea is pretty good, a perfect antic for a red light. Believe it or not, a well placed shot with a good flick of the wrist will shatter a window with the little end of said antenna you are now holding. Nothing says "wake up bitch" better than a ear shattering crash and a rush of fresh air!

Oh and speaking of assholes lane sharing, 2 weeks ago I was passing one of these guys in my truck who was going 10 under in a legal passing zone. As I came alongside him he swerved over as we went over a small bridge and our mirrors smacked. I pulled over and he looked like he was having a heart attack as he climbed out of his truck. Yeah, those Dodge Rams can be invisible sometimes...bitch!

No one will get the point, so it's a waste of time & energy. Unless you're the type that just feels better after striking out at someone.

People are gonna do stupid stuff. Sometimes I do stupid stuff. I get more satisfaction out of the challenge of anticipating what might happen, then doing whatever it takes to avoid the problem. Not wasting time stressing over it.

+1 L8RGYZ. I'm determined when I leave home to have a fun ride and not let the idiots get in my way.

I had a buddy have a similar experience, only in his truck, not a bike. He finally got the dude to pull over and saw the barrely of a gun hanging out the window. He got back in his truck and put some distance between him and the dude. Moral of the story, let the fuckbags be fuckbags. In this day and age, I would not recommend any course of action other than hitting 160 and getting the hell out of their sight.

yeah, hit 160 and the cop around the corner nails ya with a fine!

it is true that the bad driving will never cease. but, yes, i do enjoy scaring the bejesus out of arseholes who pass me in my lane, cut me off, etc...

Be sure to eat your vegetables too. Eating pizza and chocolate is not worth the risk!

I took it Hook, line, and sinker. Nice troll.

Speaking as someone who allegedly has knocked off mirrors with an expandable baton while riding past, I must say the physical retaliations are the lowest percentage.

However, getting the license plate and calling 911 and in a completely hysterical voice "reporting" the obviously drunk driver that just tried to run you off the road and was brandishing a gun does not seem like *that* bad of an idea. I mean if you honestly thought you saw a drunk guy with a gun, it's a good idea for the police to check them out - right?

Hmmmm.... a quick out could be assisted with an James Bond like electromagnetic hinging license plate with indicator light. This would only work for the big city boys that don't mind the possibility of jail time. If you don't mind jail time, strap one of these bad boys on your back and ride around town shooting out tires. Peteetong.

WOW barrys: that is priceless "allegedly"
I actually, not allegedly have knocked off a few mirrors from damned cagers... I got next to the idiot at a red, just as the cross traffic turned yellow I hit the mirror down instead of forward or back. Not to mention that I broke his windshield in...

The reason for above was: Lovely gentleman and his "Bro" were driving in a direction on a 3 lane road with a 4th lane for turning which i was in. He cuts from far right lane to far left lane (my lane) without signaling, actually makes physical contact with me and runs me off into the "island" separating me from oncoming traffic. He looks over to me and has the "oh shit" look and takes off!!! So I had to do something...

OK, I'll bite..
 

Our forefathers knew it was best to run and fight another day...

A shark dies if it stops swimming...

If you are not there, they can't kill you...

Don't get mad, get even, even if its another schmuck 10 years later...

In Chicago, you pick your fights...

If someone drags your steed out of a parking space (worse yet if you had a fork lock on), you go park somewhere else and walk back and check things out. Well just lets say someone I know fairly well had this happen to them, in Chicago, in broad daylight at Michigan & Congress (the hub of the Windy City). Three of Chicago's finest watched as this motorcyclist did the Chicago triple-jump, followed by a 360 walk-around. That being, size 11 boots together on trunk, roof & hood, followed by back-heels into grill, then drivers & passenger's doors. Then he took a walk across the street and waited; luckily only a few minutes. Cager came back with umbrella in hand and newspaper under arm. When he got within 10 feet of his sedan, he stopped. The cager did not say a word as he circled the now significantly diminished in value mode of transportation. When he got around to the driver's door, he paused and shook his head, then got in and drove away. The motorcyclist then smiled and went on his way.

True story; I swear.

chicago triple jump sounds great!!!